On Feeling Out of Sync (and Writing Anyway)
On perfectionism, paralysis, and learning to stay near anyway.
This week, I’ve been feeling out of sync.
Not catastrophically, just off — spiritually, emotionally, physically. My inner compass spins, and no matter how I try to pull myself together, I stay slightly out of step. Sleep has been restless; the gym slipped by; I’ve felt under the weather. And with that, the usual clarity or passion I lean on to write felt missing.
Part of me wondered: should I wait? Wait until I feel more put together, until I know exactly what I want to say, until I’m sure what I offer will be worth it?
But maybe waiting isn’t the point.
Scripture is full of people who didn’t wait until they felt ready. David wrote in despair. Elijah fled to the wilderness. Paul sent letters from prison. Even Christ, in Gethsemane, prayed for the cup to pass and still moved forward.
Alignment with God may not mean feeling steady or full. It may simply mean staying near, even when unsteady.
So I write today, not from inspiration, but from a refusal to drift. Not because I have something profound, but because nearness matters more than clarity. And sometimes the act of showing up is itself the act of realignment.
I wrote this piece not from a place of certainty or insight, but as a way to stay close to the work when clarity felt distant. It’s a reminder to myself — and perhaps to you — that showing up matters, even when we feel off-balance. Sometimes faithfulness looks like continuing, not because we feel ready, but because we refuse to turn away.